are you sick of me yet?

Woo Hoo! Three posts in three days. That must be some kind of record for me. I know it doesn't hold a candle to Stine's 3 posts in one day today, but, hey, I'm trying. (love you stine!!)

So, I totally busted ass and finished painting the downstairs front room yesterday. It looks SO good. I'm really proud of it. I freehanded all the cutting in (no tape), except the floorboards, cause those are hard, and I must say, my technique has improved fantastically since my first painting project. I even like the green in the bedroom better now that there's blue downstairs. No idea why that would be, but for some reason it really does look better. I'm only a little sore today too. Nothing that a little time on the yoga mat won't fix up.

It rained all night last night, and we woke up to a very dark morning. The kids could hardly believe that it was really morning, Zach actually insisted on going back to bed after getting up to go pee pee. I love the rain. I've lived in mostly desert areas for the past 15 years or so, so a good downpour just makes me happy. The sound, the smell, the dimness of the light, I love it all. I did feel a little bad for all the poor desert plants around here that looked awfully drenched this morning, but damnit, it was time for the heat to relent!

The Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta is supposed to start at o'dark thirty in the morning tomorrow, and the balloon people are freaking out. Apparently, October is typically clear and dry here, and the weather is thwarting all the balloon fiesta-ing plans. The first event is called Albuquerque Aloft, they send up balloons from all over the city. Three are going up from Madeline's school. At 6:45 AM. She wants to go really bad, but that is SO early. The event goes from 6:45 to 8:00, so what the heck am I supposed to do with her for the hour until school starts, if I get her up at 6 to get ready and get over there. Not to mention, I'd also have to get Zach up at that seriously early hour. We'll see, maybe the weather will make the decision for me.

Speaking of, it just started thundering again, so I better turn the computer off, I'd hate to fry it with a power surge or something.

Winds of Change

I feel things are turning a corner here in Albuquerque, as far as being more personally connected to this place. Since we moved here, we've had several offers from the nice gals Clark works with, and the couple people we know here to come to various birthday parties and such. I'm terrible, but I always managed to find something else we needed to be doing, and hadn't taken anyone up on their offers. I wasn't ready to meet people, I guess. Well, this weekend, all that changed. I went out Saturday for a girl's night that sweet Julia invited me to, and spent the morning Sunday at the Corrales Harvest Festival with Lea and her 2 boys.

Julia is Victor's girlfriend, and Victor is an old friend of mine from college who I was thrilled to find out lives here. She had offered to introduce me to her friend Elena who's been working in the psych department at UNM for many years, and our schedules finally lined up. Elena is a very cool chick, and gave me tons of good advice about my future scholastic and career goals. I very much needed the opinion of someone with experience in the field, and am so grateful to Julia for being persistent in setting up a meeting. We had a lovely meal, and some laughs, and I wasn't a complete dork, I hope.

Lea works with Clark. She is the sweetie who ended up watching our kids for the Dave Matthews concert last month. She's been inviting us over almost every weekend since then, so it was about damn time I stopped being a jerk and showed up for something. Clark was on his way to Chicago Sunday, so it was just her and I and the kids. I get really good vibes from Lea. She's divorced, and doing the working single mom thing, which I can't even imagine, and she's funny and fun, and hasn't lived here all that long. For someone who hasn't lived here that long she sure seems to know a lot of people, though. Every time we turned around she was introducing me to another mom with little ones in tow. Her boys go to a Montessori school in Corrales, so I think most of them were friends from school. They all seemed like my kind of peeps, here in Albuquerque, will wonders never cease.

We also found TWO (count em, TWO) new babysitters. Marissa watched the kids for us Friday night, so Clark and I could go on a real date. She's college-aged, very sweet, and came highly recommended. Kelly (who is the nice lady I cancelled on a couple weeks back) actually called me on Sunday and asked if I needed her Monday night. That's right, a babysitter CALLED ME. I had been intending to call her, but had got caught up in the painting and forgot. She came over so I could go to yoga Monday night. She's a little older, and is a childcare professional, and the kids LOVED her. She even offered, before I could ask, to come over again next time I needed her.

So, the winds of change are blowing through our little household, and it is a very good thing. I'm so relieved to have at least a couple people I can turn to for help with the kids. And, while I'm still terrified of the making new friends thing, it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Now, I must get back to the painting, I've been avoiding it since my painting marathon on Sunday, but I think my body has recovered enough to get back to it.

I also downloaded that 'hello' program last night and sent a bunch of pics to Boobecca. So, now I need to figure out how to send them to my blog. One thing at a time. It does seem much easier though, so hopefully I can figure it out.

Pictures!!

I've finally got off my lazy ass and figured out how to get pictures posted. Kinda. And thanks for holding my hand while I figured it out, Beck. Sooo, I decided to post a few pictures from our trip to Cedar City last June. These are from a trip to the Discovery Park with the kidlets. Enjoy.




"Will you take woodchips for that crabby patty ma'am?"
Sophie and Zach playing Sponge Bob.


















"Aw, come on mom, it's way too bright out here to smile."
Madeline playing in the dino dig sandbox.

Beautiful Boo

This is turning out to be more difficult than I anticipated, and I'm sure it's operator error. Grrr. My shoulder is being a total bitch from too much painting, and overdoing it at yoga last night. I was intending to get some pics up from a party at Boo's last June too, but they'll have to wait until I can do this without giving myself a headache.

Update

I guess it's time for another update from the Krause House. We've been doing pretty good around here the last week or so. The highlight of the weekend was the New Mexico State Fair on Saturday. We had promised Madeline we'd go, even though I am not a huge fan of wading through crowds in the heat. We got off to an early start though, thank goodness, and got there at least an hour or two before the truly heinous crowds arrived. Zach and I rode the merry-go-round together, which was fun, even though he's still not willing to actually sit on a horse, but, hey, the cute little swan benches are cool with me. We ate corndogs and Kettle Korn. We watched Madeline win her first trophy ever at the Pee Wee Stampede, which was a super cute mini rodeo for little kids where they kids got to wear cowboy hats and ride rodeo events on their stick horses. She kicked butt in the barrel race, and carried her golden cowgirl trophy around for the rest of the day, telling anyone who would stand still that SHE won. It was a pretty big deal for her because, in her own words, at school the other kids sometimes leave her in the dust.

Sunday marked the beginning of my most current and biggest yet house project. I did some painting, and cleared out the room in preparation for the floor guys to come Monday. Two days later of noise and sawdust, and the new wood floor was in! I think it looks pretty good. I'm making progress on the painting, but need a much bigger ladder to deal with that particular room. I'm getting nervous about my friend who's going to be building in the desk for us. We're ending up investing a pretty good amount (for us) into this room, and I'm concerned that I might be asking a bit much of him. I've been needing to call him and ask him this very question, but I'm putting it off, because I don't want to offend. I might be seeing his girlfriend on Saturday for a ladies night kind of thing that she was sweet enough to invite me to, so I may have to ask her advice first. I'm excited about hanging out with her, but if I think about it too much, I get serious anxiety.

Good news on the potty training front! Finally! I've been avoiding making any official statements about it, because I don't want to jinx anything, but I think Zach is finally officially potty trained. Meaning, we haven't had any accidents in something like 5 days. I don't know what finally clicked with him, but apparently he just needed to decide it was time. I'm SO HAPPY. I was starting to get worried that this was taking a lot longer than it should, and that I was going to be cleaning up stinky messes for the rest of my life. But, no, my brilliant boy has figured out how to poop in the toilet. Praise the potty gods!

Last night was the elementary school balloominaria fund raising thingy. It was pretty fun. We got there right as they were inflating the first of the three big balloons. It was as impressive up close as I thought it would be. The kids had also made really cute luminarias with white paper bags decorated with pictures of hot air balloons. They had them out all around the playground next to the P.E. field where the big balloons were. Madeline's was really cute, and she was very proud of it. We bought her the school t-shirt she'd been wanting (for only $5, which I thought was very reasonable), and a couple bendy glow sticks. It was quite a sight as the sun went down, the luminarias were glowing, and the hot air balloons were glowing, and all the kids were running around with their glow sticks. Good Times. Afterwards, we stopped by Cold Stone for ice cream. They were donating half their profits to the school for the evening, and it was a cool way to wrap up the evening.

Today, I went over to Clark's newest office for the first time. His boss was out of town, but it was nice to meet the other people he works with. I tend to get intimidated around professional people, since I'm "just" a stay at home mom, who's never had a "real" career or anything. I know it's silly, but I can't help it. I think mine and Clark's age difference probably affects that quite a bit too, since I tend to be quite a bit younger than most the people he works with. Both of the women I met have kids and have invited us over for social type things in the past, which we haven't gone to. However, I'm realizing that if I really do want to meet new people here, I have to start showing up to some of these things. Even if it is scary as hell.

Madeline doesn't have school tomorrow, so it'll be a long weekend for her. Unfortunately, it'll be a short weekend for Clark, as he's leaving Sunday morning for Chicago for 4 days. I'm really going to try to not take the downward spiral this time he's out of town. I'm going to call back that sitter I cancelled with last week, and set something up for a yoga class at least. I'm trying to decide whether to try and start a 6 week pranayama course that my fav teacher is teaching Tuesdays. I'd hate to pay for the whole thing and then end up missing a bunch of it, but I'm sure it would be interesting. Pranayama is an aspect of yoga that is much more meditative, and focuses on breathing to encourage the meditative state. I'm not too sure I'm ready for it, physically or emotionally, but it might be time to stretch myself a little.

OK, I hear the kids descending, must be time to wrap it up. I'll try to get some pics up tomorrow.

Tarot Fun

You are the Hermit card. The Hermit has chosen a
solitary spiritual path. He shines light on his
inner self and, by this means, gains wisdom.
The Hermit's home is the natural world and it
is by being in tune with that world that he
learns the laws of nature and learn how they
operate within himself. His path is a lonely
one as he lives in silence and has for
companionship only his own internal rhythms.
But those crossing his path are touched by his
light and wisdom. Though often alone, he
manages nevertheless to instruct those who meet
him and guides those who chose to follow him on
a path towards enlightenment. Image from The
Aleister Crowley Tarot deck.
http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/thoth/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Stine introduced me to tarot, oh these many years ago. She always gives me awesome readings. I've had pretty great readings from people I don't know at all, too. I haven't had my cards out in awhile, but the imagery and ritual of it has always appealed to me. This quiz was fun, even if I was slightly suprised at the result.

Moving Forward

I'm feeling a little better today. Thank God. (Told you I was swinging hard and fast.) I've been back on my multivitamin, taking my St. John's Wort, and cut out a lot of caffeine, for a couple weeks now, I think it may be kicking in a little. I'm trying to be optimistic. It's kindof scary to fall so far so fast. But I'll take the faster bouncing back. It that's what this is.

We're moving forward on our plans to remodel the downstairs former dining room/living room (which was really too small to be either one), into a home office/possible future guest room. We've found an installer for the new floor who's available right now, and I picked out the material, which isn't exactly what I might have picked if there were a lot of other options, but out of what I can get right now, it's the best. I'm developing a rather ambivalent attitude toward this house at the moment. I'm getting the feeling we won't be here more than probably 2-3 years, which makes me want to get it done faster so we can enjoy it for awhile, but also makes me much less interested in it being perfectly, exactly, precisely what I want. So, I went with the oak, when I really probably would have preferred the cherry. But oak is great, it'll be really nice. I'm trying to decide whether to jump into the painting right now, or wait until the floor is installed. I'm thinking it better be now.

I'm kindof looking forward to the fundraiser thingy at the school tonight. There are supposed to be 3 big balloons and lots of "balloominarias", whatever those are. I've seen lots of balloons since moving here, from a bit of a distance, and that one off the bedroom balcony that was pretty close, but I haven't managed to be very close to one on the ground. I wish I knew what time they were blowing them up, that would be fun to watch. I'm looking forward to the "Balloon Fiesta" in October. I was hoping my mom would be here for it, but it doesn't look like that's working out. Sooo, it'll just be the Krause House. That's cool.

Update: I wrote this post yesterday, and since then I have realized that the fundraising night is NEXT WEEK. Jee-sus, could I be any more of a flake? So, all that drama, and canceling the sitter, and feeling like shit, all for no good reason at all. I think I'm going to buy one of those huge whiteboard calendars and put it up in the middle of the family room, maybe then I'll be able to keep my poop in a group. Sigh.

Aarghhh! thwarted again

So, my darling husband talked to coworkers, and called child care facilities yesterday to try to find someone who'd be willing to babysit for me for a yoga class this week while he's gone. I can't tell you how much it meant to me that he would do this. Yesterday afternoon I got a call from a really nice woman who is a certified child care provider who would be willing to come to my home and watch the kids. We got it all set up for Wednesday, since it was getting a little last minute for my Monday class by that time. I was feeling good about this, very good. Until, of course, Madeline reminds me of the family fund raising night at the school Wednesday night, complete with luminarias, hot air balloons, ice cream, and an opportunity to buy the cute school t-shirt she's been craving. Fuck. Now what? She's totally been looking forward to this, and I forgot. I just want to cry right now. I'm going to have to call this woman back, who went out of her way to be available to me, and cancel. Not to mention, no yoga this week. Fuck Fuck Fuck.

Weird Week

Things have been weird around here lately. My moods and emotions have been swinging wide and fast. From depressed and totally ineffectual to angry and can't sit still. I need to get my shit together.

We had a decent Labor Day weekend, going back that far since I haven't posted since before then. Cleaned house, went out to breakfast twice (I love it when someone else makes me breakfast), took the kids to the zoo. It was really nice to just have Clark home for 3 days in a row. I got to have a little time to myself, which was much needed. I ended up taking a beautiful little drive completely on accident.

In Cedar, when I was feeling down, and needed a break from the kids, I used to drive out to "Three Peaks", a nice little open/recreation area west of town. There's lots of nature to go sit in if one feels the need around Cedar, and it was always good for me to get into it. I haven't found the spot like that here. However, I decided to get in the car and start driving as though I were headed out there and see where I ended up.

Cedar and Albuquerque have some interesting geographical similarities (mountain range to the east, interstate running north-south through the town, broad expanse to the west, we even live in the northeast heights here just like we did there, weird), so that's not really as difficult as it might sound. Anyhoo, I ended up on this little "scenic byway" that rolls slowly through a tiny old town called Corrales. OLD New Mexico. HUGE cottonwood trees everywhere. Cute little orchards and vineyards and adobes. I never really got the whole New Mexico architecture thing (otherwise known as squat square beige buildings), but down there I totally got it. I mean, there were of course the crazy old houses that a community that old will have, but there were also beautiful homes, tucked away in the trees, so pretty as to bring tears to your eyes. Or my eyes anyways. But, I'm weird like that.

The school/work week went by fast. Madeline is doing really great in school, as far as I can tell, and seems to be happier to have something to do. Zach and I are still battling with the potty training (will it EVER end??), but mostly he's a dear to be around, and is at that great stage where it's always entertaining to hear what he'll say next. Example: It started sprinkling when he and Clark were out getting the mail, Clark asked him what he thought about the rain, Zach looked up at the sky and contemplated for a moment before replying, "I think it's a very wet idea." Precious.

I managed to haul myself to yoga Wednesday. I hadn't been in over a week, what with the holiday and all, and especially when I haven't been in awhile and am feeling depressed, it can be difficult to get myself to class. Usually though, a good class will lift me right up out of a down day. I can't say I had a good class. It felt like my muscles weren't listening to me. I was collapsing in all my standing poses, and felt like I was pretty much a total yoga loser. Hate that.

I've really been battling with the depression thing lately. The depression part is nothing new really, although it's been a long time since I've felt it to this degree and for this kind of duration. The real difference is how much I've been fighting it this time around. I've at least been able to say, ok, this is depression I'm feeling, I need to do something about it, instead of just getting totally sucked in. I'm trying to remind myself that this is progress. Some days it's hard to convince myself that the anger and irritation is preferable to totally unplugging from the people around me,but I think it is, isn't it?

This weekend was WAY too short. I actually woke up today convinced that it was Sunday, how disappointing is that? Clark had to work Sunday, which REALLY SUCKS ASS. He had to go in at about 12:30pm, and didn't get home until after 10. AND, he has to work late again tonight, which means that he left here at like 5:30 am for the gym, and won't be home until most likely after 10 again. AND, he's going out of town tomorrow for 3 days. He'll be back for a week, THEN he has to go to Chicago for 4 days, leaving, again, Sunday. GRRRRR. Yeah, I'm angry about that. I'm not angry at him, at all, I know he would rather be home with us, but I gotta say, it's like a THOUSAND TIMES harder to be home alone with the kids while he's on the road here, than it was in Cedar. Have I said this before? Forgive me if I'm repeating myself, but this is one of the major frustrations in my life right now. I'm actively trying to find someone to help me with the kids while Clark is gone, at least to stay with them while I go to yoga so I don't lose my little mind. It's going to be spending money I'd rather not spend, but hey, sometimes you gotta.

On top of that, my mother in law has changed her plans to come to Albuquerque this winter, again. This is like the 4th or 5th time she's changed her mind. My husband thinks his mother is a saint, and for the most part I try not to dispel this notion because she really is a sweet and wonderful person for the most part, but I kinda lost it on this one. First it was going to be a couple months, January, Feb, March, somewhere around there. Then, a couple months, Nov/Dec. Then, only a month, but October this time. Now it's going to be a week in October or November, then possibly up to 3 months later in the winter. She won't be staying in our home at all, most likely, but she will possibly be dependent on us (me) for transportation. The first time I met my mil, I told Clark if we ever live in the same town with her, we are SO going into therapy. He can be a different person around her, one I don't know very well, so I just need to know when to schedule the shrink, is that so difficult?

OK, gotta stop bitching, it's giving me a headache.

To round out the weirdness of the week, we saw Neil Patrick Harris in a not even very great breakfast place Sunday morning. They had written on the 'specials' board, something about make sure to watch some blah blah show on some blah blah network with Neil Patrick Harris Sunday at blahbity blah time. I thought it was a little odd, and wondered if they might know him? or maybe they're just big fans? Then, just as I'm biting into my banana walnut waffle, he stands up and walks right across the room toward me and out the door. Neil Patrick Harris. Now if that's not weird, I don't know what is.

I need a distraction

I can't keep watching the news. It's too surreal, and frightening, and sad. I need a distraction. The radio is helping. Blind Mellon, "It's not sane ... it's not sane..." encapsulates the moment very well. Which segues me perfectly into my music moments meme thing. (What does 'meme' mean? some clever abbreviation I'm just not getting?)

I'm going to take a lot of liberty with this one and just babble about music in general. My first music obsessions were Michael Jackson and Prince. We lived outside Minneapolis for a few years right when Purple Rain and Thriller were happening, I would have been 10ish, I guess. I found radio, and music videos at about the same time, and was pretty obsessed with both. My sister Becky and I danced with abandon in the basement to Irene Cara and Culture Club. Katy was a baby, but she made a good audience. That is, until she pulled all the tape out of my copy of Thriller, that was tragic.

I've always been an avid radio listener, and sometimes, but not too often, an album collector. I've always been a sucker for a hook, can't help it. I like music that makes me want to shake my ass. Hence, the Black Eyed Peas CD, currently taking up long term residence in my minivan CD player. (Sorry, Patrice, hope that doesn't mean we can't be friends!) I can't seem to get enough of it, at extremely loud volume. I like the funny looks I get for driving a minivan (complete with carseats) with a subwoofer. I don't subject my kids to the loud volume, don't worry, I want them to be able to hear. Other favs that fall into the loud music in the car category are Outkast and Beastie Boys.

I've probably done most of my hearing damage in my car, instead of at concerts, unfortunately. But, I've managed to catch a few good ones. Prince in Las Vegas being a highlight, for the pimp suits and people watching as much as anything. And Ani DiFranco at the Hard Rock, but I was pregnant at the time, so it wasn't as good a time as it might have been. Clark and I have also seen REM, U2, NIN w/ David Bowie (that was cool), and a few others along the way. I don't have nearly the catalog of crazy concert stories that, say, Mr. J has, but I'm hoping to make up for some of it still. Dave Matthews Band was fun the other night. It was more mellow, jammin, than I thought it would be. Don't know why I thought that, but it was a nice turn of events. We got to sit on the grass and cuddle, and still hear and see really well. It was pretty windy though, and I felt bad for the band, they were getting it right in the face.

My current radio fav is Radio Free Santa Fe. LOVE LOVE LOVE this station. I had to learn how to put in a weblink, so that there may be one here, in honor of Radio Free Santa Fe. I have a feeling that if I just started buying albums of artists I hear on this channel, I would end up with an amazing collection of talent, cause a lot of it is unfamiliar to me, but I LOVE everything. The DJ's are totally cool, and they have a great Friday Night Funk show that we listen to every Friday on our Krause House Friday Night Outing. (Thank God It's FRIDAY). Oh, and they play the original, old reggae version of Smoke 2 Joints at 4:20 on every Friday. How can you not love THAT?

I have to admit that I still do love me some MTV. I was STOKED when I found out that our dish network here in Albuquerque had MTV2. Rad. I also have to admit that I am becoming more and more NOT the demographic that MTV is shooting for. Things that I will stop when walking through the TV room to watch on MTV are; Golddigger by Kanye West, Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani (sorry again, Patrice, but I just can't resist gawking Gwen in that cheerleader outfit), and that new Beck song.

Any discussion of music in my life would be incomplete without paying homage to my sources of all cool music, Lyamhound and Stine. I met these 2 in college, and my musical horizons immediately widened exponentially. Some of my biggest favs introduced to me by this dynamic duo include Morphine, Sky Cries Mary, Indigo Girls, Peter Murphy, Elvis Costello, Nina Simone, the list goes on and on and on. I need to get to a music store with Lyam when I'm out there and pick up that Maktub album I should have snagged years ago. The other CD that gets to hang in the minivan when Black Eyed Peas is out is a mix Stine brought when she visited me in February. Supercool tracks on that one are Playmate by MC Solar, Let's Pretend We're Bunnyrabbits by Magnetic Fields, Sex with Strangers by Marianne Faithful, and Babe, You Turn Me On by Nick Cave. Thanks guys!!

OK, that was nicely distracting. I was tripping about telling people what kind of music I like, cause I'm always worried that I'm not cool enough, but I'm trying to be real on here, and anyways, those of you who actually know me know all this already. My sweet little music snobs out there (you know who you are), don't judge me too harshly, I am what I am.


p.s. I was very proud of myself for finding time Wednesday before the concert to repaint the toesies. The blue from June was just too raggedy for a date night. I think they came out supercute. I also managed to figure out how to make the webcam take pictures I can post here, so I'm trying to get up the nerve to show my face. Toes will have to do for today.