I know, I know

In response to my lovely sis's comment about my serious blog slack of late, I'm going to try to recap the last week for her and/or whoever else might be reading. I have a few excuses, none of them very valid, but here goes.

I got really sick on Madeline's birthday. I'm still not sure if it was the bug they had catching up to me, or some kind of hypoglycemic crash, or dehydration, or what, but I was sick as a dog for a couple days. Of course, it hit me like a truck as I was decorating the house for the grand birthday celebration, with 10 minutes until the little birthday girl was to be home for her special 'mommy decorated the house for her' surprise. At that time I was thinking it was the hypoglycemia, so I called Clark and said keep the kid in the car and we'll run over to Applebee's (her choice for bday dinner) and get some food in us. Then, I started throwing up. God, I hate throwing up. Stupid me, I still thought, can't ruin the kid's bday, must buck up and go to dinner. Which only accomplished more throwing up in the Applebee's bathroom, and in the car on the way home. MISERY. We managed to get home, complete the decorating while the kids were waiting in the car, and get the presents open before I had to retire to my bed in the hope of passing out for a few hours. Bless little ones and their ability to focus entirely on themselves, I don't think she even noticed.

I did manage to get her to her last day of Ballet Camp. Which, she didn't want to go to, but since I had hauled my sick ass out of bed already, and we were working on the finishing what you start thing, she went. All in all, Ballet Camp was a bit of a disappointment. It was too long, and too hot, and too much standing around tapping your toe kind of thing. It was just too much for her in general. I'm not sure when we'll revisit dancing again, but next time I will make sure it's more relaxed and fun. I was proud of her for finishing though.

Finished Harry Potter over the weekend, since I was still feeling a little icky, and had a good excuse to lay on my bed and read most of the time. Liked it lots, still can't quite believe the ending, but I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't finished yet. I am curious about Missuz J's 2 things she had been expecting and 1 thing she hadn't. I think I know the 1 thing, but not sure about the 2 things. I'll have to remember to ask next time we talk in realtime. I kinda feel like going back and reading the first couple books, back when everyone was young and innocent, and the bad man wasn't back yet. I think they might be my favorites.

So, after recovering completely from my wretchedness, I had this burst of working around the house energy. The kids and I took a trip to Lowe's. God, I hate that place sometimes. I've bitched about my Lowe's experiences before, and this time was no exception. I did know what I wanted, and mostly where it was, so that wasn't a big deal, the issue this time was the HUGE tantrum Zach threw as we were getting ready to check out. Yelling. Screaming. Trying to yank my shirt off. Tantrum from hell. I think he's having his 2 year old behavior issues a little late. He was a really easy 2 year old for the most part, but man, since he's turned 3, he's been a pain in the ass on occasion. Follow that up with Madeline refusing to eat in the restaurant we went to for lunch (mostly as a treat for me, but I did allow her to pick the place) because they had only brought her ONE spoon, and as everyone (should) know, macaroni & cheese CANNOT be eaten with the same spoon used to eat applesauce. After this day, I had pretty much decided we were all just going to sit around the house for the rest of the summer. One of those bad mommy days.

I spent the next couple days painting the upstairs bathroom yellow. I feel quite a sense of accomplishment about that, since I did it all by myself. Clark was out of town for work, so it was all me. As I have mentioned before, I sometimes have a hard time making decorating decisions, due to my often overwhelming perfectionism. I'm working really hard on just doing it though, and for the most part I'm enjoying the results, even if they may not be quite perfect.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention the yoga workshop on Sunday. It was awesome. SOOO glad I went. If only for the experience of sitting in a room with 40-odd strangers, and enjoying the energy of it. The material was interesting, and I did have one fairly significant insight into what's been going on in my shoulder and neck lately (other than spending too much time on the computer of course, that couldn't be it). I'm very interested in specific therapeutic applications of yoga, and would have enjoyed more of the actual yoga part of it, since we spent most of our time in diagnosis of each other, but it was fun to put on my teacher hat again for a minute, and pretend I knew what I was doing. OK, not pretending so much really, but it certainly did get me thinking of teaching again. Who knows, we'll see.

OK, kids are calling for breakfast. Time to feed the munchkins.

Just DO IT

Well, she went to dancing today. After a brilliant conversation with her father last night, she decided that she wanted to. (THANKS HONEY!!) And, she came out crying, again. I showed up early to watch for a few minutes, and they were doing Flamenco, just like yesterday. (Flamenco is HUGE in New Mexico) She was kinda participating this time, at least she wasn't sitting in the corner, but by the time they were out the door, she was in tears. Apparently the little girl behind her in line told her to go when they were leaving and Madeline wasn't moving fast enough for her. I don't think she was trying to be mean, but Madeline didn't like it. Jee-sus she is SO sensitive! I'm aware that Cancer's are a sensitive bunch, but this child is taking it to a whole new level, and I don't know what to do about it, other than assure her that she's ok, and move on. Usually it only gets worse if I allow her to dwell on it. I don't want to invalidate her feelings, but sometimes I wish she'd GET OVER IT.

I'm trying to get up the nerve to go to a yoga workshop this weekend. I've been doing yoga for about 11 years now, and taught in Utah for 2. The workshop is 4 hours Sunday afternoon, which is pretty tame as far as yoga workshops go. It's working with yoga as a therapeutic tool, and I've heard the teacher is AWESOME. Actually, my current teacher, Kim, said she's awesome, and Kim rocks my world on a regular basis, so I hold his opinion pretty high. I don't know what I'm so scared of. I mean, I realize that I've been slacking on my yoga lately, particularly over the summer with traveling and Clark's new job, and the sick kids and all, but it's not like I'm totally without experience here. Working with Kim had been an eye opening experience for sure. I do have my days where I start thinking, dang, I guess I've been doing this wrong for a decade now. But then I have to tell myself I'm just moving to a new, deeper level of understanding both of the poses and of my body. I just wish I felt stronger in my practice. I wish I had a shred of a home practice. I wish I didn't have to judge myself CONSTANTLY. I know that the things I wish for will not happen unless I make/allow them to happen. We'll just call this putting my intention out there as far as yoga goes. Gotta start somewhere.

Kid Rant

The vomiting is officially behind us. Thank GOD. Now I get to be irritated about entirely new things. Yay.

Madeline is driving me a little nuts today. It's her birthday tomorrow, as EVERYONE knows, from my blog buds, to the cashier at the grocery store, and I'm busting my ass to make it a fun one for her. I wasn't able to swing a party with friends, since we don't have any here, and she did say she'd like a family party, as long as I decorated the house for her. So, today, while she was at ballet camp, Zach and I went to the party store and spent $50 bucks on streamers and balloons and flowery leis to make a Lilo & Stitch/Luau Birthday Extravaganza for her. Then I ran over to Target to pick her up a new ballet skirt to wear to ballet camp on her birthday. Mind you, this is all in practically 100 degree weather with a 3 year old in tow.

So, I get over to the ballet studio with a few minutes to spare so I can watch her dance for the last part of class. Can't find her anywhere. She's not in studio 1, or studio 2, and I start to panic, darting back and forth between the viewing windows, using the mirrors to examine every corner of said studios, checking the dressing room, and the bathrooms. Finally, a teacher comes out of one of the studios and I ask her, where's Madeline? Turns out, Madeline had a tough class, and was laying down on a bench in the corner of the studio (just out of sight of moms and mirrors). Her class comes out and she's bawling, and telling me that it was "a total nightmare" (her words). Of course, none of the other kids seem to have experienced this "nightmare" she was speaking of, but maybe they hide it better than she does, who knows. Somehow I doubt that.

Bottom line is, she doesn't want to go back. Now, I paid $100 dollars (not counting tights, ballet shoes, and a pink leotard) for her to go to this camp, which she already missed one day of from being sick. She's gone to a whole 2 days, and doesn't want to go back. What should I do? I don't want to force her to go on her birthday and make her miserable, but I also don't want her to just quit. I'm at a loss. She's had such a crap attitude about this kind of stuff since we moved here, it's like she's channeling my mother in law or something. It's as though she has to find the worst part of any situation, and bemoan that, to the exclusion of allowing herself to enjoy anything. How do I encourage her to try hard and find enjoyment in her efforts? Thoughts? Anyone?

Sick Kids SUCK (not for weak stomachs)

The vomiting started at 1am. It has continued pretty much relentlessly since then. I can't figure out what caused it. My husband is of the opinion that it was the hot dogs for dinner (which I am POSITIVE were not expired), I'm thinking more along the lines of the public pool yesterday. Zach is running a fever of 101.1 at the moment, but hasn't thrown up since 3:30ish. Madeline is asleep at the moment, and since she didn't listen to mommy's advice to take SMALL sips of water, most recently threw up all over the downstairs bathroom floor. Let me tell you, vomit and tile are not a nice combination. I doused it all liberally in Lysol Kitchen cleaner, but am still not feeling great about cleanliness down there. Clark was sweet enough to do most of the middle of the night throw up cleaning, which included, but was not limited to, Zach's bed, the hall carpet, and himself. I was juggling the vomiting children at the time, but still think I probably got the easier job. And when I say juggling the vomiting children, I am not kidding. At one point Madeline actually threw up on Zach, while he was trying to get out of the way after throwing up in the toilet. Bless his heart for getting to the toilet at least once. Unfortunately, this means Madeline didn't get to start ballet camp today. She's really disappointed. So am I for that matter. Fingers crossed that she'll feel better by tomorrow and will be able to catch up fast.

Pre-sick kids, the weekend was pretty nice. Went to a little dinner party at Shawn and Christine's temporary house. They will be moving into the brand new house which is currently under construction in a month or so. I met a nice gal with a couple kids who traded phone numbers with me, hopefully one of us will call the other for a playdate. Madeline had a swimming lesson on Saturday, after which my lovely honey stopped at Border's and picked up the new Harry Potter for me. I had been resigned to getting it sometime in the next few weeks, after the hubub died down, so I was very happy and surprised.

Oh, we almost got hit by lightning Friday before our dinner party. I mentioned this briefly in a comment to Kodi, so sorry about the repetition, but there is an update. As I said before, out of the middle of nowhere, huge, blinding light, accompanied simultaneously with the loudest crack of thunder. I could literally feel the air pressure change. It was super scary. One of those things that you immediately look around for damage or fire. Well, we didn't get damaged, but a house on the next block from us was hit, and burned. We didn't notice it at first, as we were immediately on the road to Shawn and Christine's, but when we got home, the fire trucks were still there. Drove by it yesterday, and the whole roof is burned off. Crazy.

Watched some Tour de France on Sunday (well, and Saturday too). Our boy Lance (YUM) is still in the yellow jersey after two punishing days in the Pyrenese. I'm SO excited! I want him to win SO bad! Having this much coverage available really makes you realize what a huge event this is. Three weeks of racing, some days with 6 hours on the bike. Insane. Rest day today, so I'll have to just be patient and wait for tomorrow to feed my addiction.

Wow, I wasn't expecting this much time to blog this morning. Things are quiet for the moment, so hopefully the rest will help my poor little buggers. Please, god, let today be better than last night. I'm here all alone and REALLY don't want to be stuck cleaning vomit all day.

Back in Business

OK, time to stop reading and start writing. I got my internet connection connected again yesterday (YIPPEE!!!), and have been spending the time since catching up on my reading, when I can wrestle Madeline away from Barbie.com. So, I guess it's time to write. It has been, what, 2 weeks? And I hadn't even written about the rest of the vacation yet. I don't know where to begin. We'll try chronologically, but no promises on continuity there.

The rest of the vacation was nice. I didn't get to see as much of my sweet sis Becca the last week as I wanted to as she was working, but we'll make up for it sometime soon, hopefully. Honestly, though, I'm having a hard time recalling what we precisely did do that last week. The weather wasn't being particularly cooperative, so we spent more time than I'd have liked cooped up in grandma's house. Friday night's karaoke was definitely the high point for me. I didn't sing, but got to hear Bec, Kodi, and Paul, so that rocked. Also danced my pants off with Jen. I do LOVE to dance. One of the things I have to admit I enjoyed about the church in California were the abundance of dances. Pretty much every weekend in the summer we'd travel around the central coast, hooking up with more oppressed mormon kids to dance, dance, dance. Didn't do so much in Utah, and of course, once you're an official grownup, the opportunities for dancing ones pants off are few and far between. Who would have thought it could be accomplished in a dive bar in southern utah. Not moi! Thanks to all who came out and played, hope I didn't embarrass anyone too much.

We stopped overnight in Flagstaff on the way back and stayed at the Little America there. I get teased for it, but I kindof love the Little America. Many of you will have no idea what I'm talking about. I should figure out how to put links in here so you can see for yourself. It's a hotel chain that originated in Wyoming, and one of my earliest memories is having my first BLT in their fancy restaurant with my dad in the middle of the night on some crazy roadtrip we were being hauled on. I had to have been around 4. Their decor tends toward over the top, and I was incredibly impressed with the sparkly chandeliers. Needless to say, it made a serious impression. Clark and I have stayed in the one in Salt Lake (the 'Little' one, not the 'Grand' one) on several occasions, and have also stayed in the one in Flagstaff more than once, but usually just to crash on our way to somewhere else. Becca and I stayed there for mother's day, and my appreciation was increased. Yes, the decor is a little yikes, but it's always clean, always quiet, always comfortable, and the service is always great. Anyhoo, we have also learned since deciding to stay for a day with the kids that the pool rocks too.

Clark started his new job the day after we got back. He ended up not being able to take any time off in between jobs again, since he had a client in town the day before he was to start. He wasn't able to take any time off when he started here in December either. That's 3 jobs in a row with not one day off in between. Yikes. I have been feeling a great deal of gratitude toward my lovely husband lately. He's been stressed, because it is physically impossible for humans to make that kind of change without stressing to some degree, but he's been really great about being present while he's at home with the kids and I. I know how lucky I am to have a man who is willing and able to take such good care of his family.

The kids and I have been kicking around the house, doing the typical summer vacation stuff. For me, that has been obsessively watching the Tour de France. (Lance is y.u.m.m.y.) We've been watching the tour together when we could since we got married. The last few years we've managed to be on vacation in Yosemite during July (Clark's family has a small cabin up there), and caught the coverage on Outdoor Living Network, which is the only place you can see the whole thing. So, we've hooked up for the million channels of Dish Network in order to have OLN just to watch the tour. The kids are, of course, enjoying the quadrupling of the kid channels too. I'm telling myself it's just for one month, and it's too hot to do much outside, and it IS summer, aren't you supposed to veg out at least part of the time?

The kids have been to the pool a couple times with Clark. While I love swimming, I HATE shaving the bikini line, so I've let that be one on one dad and kid time for now. The pool is also located at his new gym, which I am not yet a member of. Oh well. While Madeline was swimming with dad on Saturday, Zach and I went to Target. Very successful Target trip. Got a bunch of birthday shopping done for Madeline (July 21), and got myself a new yoga outfit for a great price. Stocked up on some household items, and found a super cd holder for all the kid game disks that pile up around my computer.

While Zach went swimming with dad on Sunday, Madeline and I went to the theater. It was awesome. They have a family series at the Albuquerque Little Theater downtown. This time it was "Free To Be You and Me". Apparently it was a book (and tape?) for kids in the 70's about self esteem and such, and has since been adapted to the stage. I was unfamiliar with the book, but then again, my family was out of the country for much of the 70's, so they missed a bunch of that great 70's stuff. It was Madeline's first experience with live theater, and I think she dug it. She sat on my lap for most of it, which I can't complain about. She won't fit for too much longer. There were lots of kids onstage, and lots of songs, even though there wasn't much of a plot line. Their next production is Stuart Little, followed by Ozma of Oz in the spring.

Live theater is one of the things I like about Albuquerque. An abundance of live theater. One of my buds from college, Vic, is actually a working actor here. I had my stint in college of doing the theater thing. Not unlike littlest sis Katy. I was much more a behind the scenes kind of girl though. I liked being a part of it, but did NOT crave the spotlight. Now, I am a great appreciator. I had a long chat with Vic about this a few weeks back. It is amazing to me, the people who put so much time and effort and, well, their essence I guess, into creating a live performance. Something that exists only for the time it is being performed, and then it's gone. And god bless those who are willing to do the work for next to no money. My all time bestest bud Stine, and her lovely honey, Lyam, have been doing fringe theater in Seattle for about 10+ years, and I have seen some of the most impressive performances ever on that small stage, from actors who weren't getting paid diddly squat.

OK, time to wrap up for now. Madeline is chomping at the bit. I was going to try to do my grocery list writing assignment from Nicole today, but it'll have to wait til either later this evening, or tomorrow. I also haven't forgotten about being 'tagged' or whatever. I'll try to do that soon too. It's kinda fun to have blog assignments. Keeps me thinking, which is good. Glad to be back in the blogdom. Thanks Beck for posting that cute comment about my internet accident.

p.s. For PDD, in response to your comment about the last minute reprieve you're holding out for from the mormons, unfortunately, if you were baptised, and then left the church, you don't get the last minute out, it's straight to hell for those who heard the word and rejected it. Ah well, Steve's not worried. : )