Hot Hot Hot...(and kinda shitty)
We've officially plunged into summer here in Albuquerque. I'm going to blame that for slacking on my blog the last few days. My room (which is where the computer is currently located, long story), is resembling an oven more and more. It's on the second floor and has a huge south facing bay window. Lovely in the winter months, a little much for summer. Clark is assuring me that this is unseasonably warm weather and that it should chill out soon, but for the time being, it's been tough to sweat it out up here for any length of time. We're trying to get some more ceiling fans installed, but the friendly neighborhood home improvement store has screwed up our request so royally it now looks like it'll be the 2nd week of June before anyone can get out here to do it. Argh!
The kids are doing well. They both had checkups at the doctor yesterday. Madeline still has some fluid in her right ear which is compromising her hearing, but the doc just wants her to come back and get it checked in 6 weeks, again. He seems to think it'll clear up on it's own, but it's been 2 months since she failed her first hearing test at school, and I'm starting to get a little worried. Zachary had his 3 year check, and barely even noticed when he had to have his one immunization shot. Such a big boy. He's still making progress on the potty training, slowly. I need to find some patience with the process. I'm SO ready for him to be independent in this regard, but also reluctant for him to grow up and away from me. With Madeline, I wasn't so much holding on to her being a baby, because I had another baby to deal with at the time. With Zach, being my last child, it's hard to let go of the baby days. As much work as tiny babies are, I really enjoyed both of mine at that age. The challenges change so much as they get older. There's also probably part of me that realizes that it's sooner rather than later that I'll have to get back into the world a little more again myself.
I'm trying to be interesting, entertaining, and fun on this blog, and I must say, I don't think I have it in me today. I woke up in a mood. Add to that the return of the evil little black ants invading my kitchen, and I kinda feel like hiding out and doing nothing. My home improvement enthusiasm has evaporated, and my interest in sharing my home life seems to have gone with it. I'm lonely and sad right now. Nothing is really different from yesterday, and yet I feel so different. I hate it. I hate being like this around my kids. Every time I feel like I'm finally starting to get my feet under me and am adjusting to this move, a day like this hits me. Shitty for no good reason. If there's anybody out there, send me some good energy today, I need it.
posted by amandak @ 12:10 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
I give you complete permission to make yourself a huge cold drink, put a movie in for the kids upstairs, and sit on the couch downstairs watching either VH1 or MTV. Paint you toe-nails, eat some cheese, and just chill. Hot weather sucks, so does trying to adjust to a new home.
Love you tons! Boo
Warm fuzzies warm fuzzies warm fuzzies!!! There's no law saying you have to be fun an interestng in your blogs. We want to know what's really going on, not the sugar coated candy version. I hope you have a much better day tomorrow and I love ya.
I understand what you mean about wanting to hold on to the baby years. I miss the days when Kiri only wanted to be with me. When she begged to go to the store with me, or go on walks. Back then I often told her to stay home with Grandma, or later, Kendall. Now I wish I'd taken her with me more often, and cherished it as time with her, rather than a chore made harder by carting around a toddler.
I miss you. I think I never got to really know you until the Jackson trip, and I really enjoyed hanging out with you. Can't wait to see you when you visit.
Albuquerque heat
no fan in sight
sounds like a treat
when the ants take flight
best to run away
seek a simple peace
get wet today
seek release
you know, once I had to do a report for social studies in like 7th grade on where I'd want to move if I could move anywhere in the US. and I picked albuquerque. I first heard of it from bugs bunny (hmm, must'a made a wrong turn at al-be-quoy-kee) but then as I researched, I loved it. I still remember that the median temperature there is 60 degrees. I am sure that none of this helps you.
no one expects blogs to be funny all the time. they aren't comedies - they are docudramedies. you know, documentary/drama/comedy. a little of the happy, a little of the blue, a little of the crazy. I'm enjoying it thus far, and that's not a tit for tat thing because you said you liked mine. (and thanks.)
Whenever I am feeling kind of low, kind of bored, kind of under-stimilulated I try to remind myself that those cycles of mood are absolutely normal and not a direct result of my current life choice to be at home with Noah. I could just as easily be sitting at my old desk feeling even lower - and with no adorable smiles to cheer me up.
Give yourself permission to feel a little out of it and know you will perk back up soon. And I agree with J - make yourself something frozen with an umbrella in it.
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