the krause house

The guilt... THE GUILT!

2008-09-29T08:39:00.000-07:00

OK, today I feel like the worst mommy in the world. M had her first big school project due today and we TOTALLY FORGOT! After all the reminders from the teacher to plan out the steps to completion, and not leave the whole thing until the last minute, Madeline was up until 9:30 last night (2 hours past regular bedtime) trying to get it done.

I have many excuses as to why this happened. Last year's teacher never assigned any homework on the weekends, bless her heart, so we are totally out of practice in even thinking about schoolwork after Friday. I was out of town last weekend, and Clark was out of town the weekend before, and we really just needed a quiet couple of days at home. She was so panicked about the whole thing and scheduling that when we did sit down with her planner, she would only plan out the rough draft stages. And on, and on... Bottom line is, I suck.

The project was to create a cereal box based on the book they read for their report. They had to make up the cereal brand, create a game for the back of the box, describe the characters on one side of the box (ingredients), give a summary on the other side, and create a 2 minute commercial advertising their product. Cute idea, and I was excited that it was something she could show her creativity on. So, I was in the cereal aisle in the grocery store yesterday afternoon, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. By the time I got home, it was less than 3 hours until bedtime, hadn't had dinner yet, and hadn't started the final project AT ALL.

I wasn't completely panicked yet, as she had done the rough drafts, and we had a pretty detailed instruction sheet to help us along, so I asked her to get out her folder so we could see where we were at. See where this is going? Yep, the folder was in her desk... at school. So now, not only are we trying to do this at the last possible minute, we don't have the rough drafts or the instructions. This was the point at which I felt like throwing up or crying or maybe both. Of course, as the parent, you can't show your child these emotions, you have to maintain control, reassure her that she can do it, and get the damn thing done already.

She did a pretty good job getting through the creation of the box, after I talked her down from her own guilt and panic at not having remembered about all this either, although I have to confess I helped with the cutting and pasting probably more than I should have. Then we moved on to the commercial. This was the part I absolutely didn't remember the instructions, but she assured me she knew what to do, and that it needed to be 1 to 1 & 1/2 minutes long, although she didn't tell me until 9:00 that it was supposed to be completely memorized. At this point, she was so exhausted, and just over it, we worked on memorization for about 30 minutes before we had to give up.

I got her up early today to work on the memorization again for awhile, and she did seem to have most of it down. I drove her to school and went down to her classroom to check the instructions and make sure there wasn't anything glaring that we had missed. What we would have done at that point if there had been, I don't know, but the only thing we were really off on was that the commercial was supposed to be 2 minutes. Well... we were happy that we had made it to a minute, so I guess she'll just have to take the grade cut on that.

I gotta say, I haven't had a parenting failure of this magnitude in awhile. It was certainly an eye opener, and a wake up call. I've been going through some real insecurities about parenting an older child, and have been unfairly judgmental of my husband, and myself I guess, about expecting perfect parenting. This has undoubtedly yanked me down off my high horse, and I am feeling humbled and sorry about that.

The more my big girl is growing up and becoming more and more complex and independent, my fears just keep growing with her. I want so badly to do everything I can to set her up for success in the world, and at the same time I am realizing that so much is out of my control. I crave the days when she was little, and even though it was a lot of work, it was my work and I was in control of what happened in her world. It is just excruciatingly difficult to let go of that control. I fear the ways in which my imperfections and inadequacies will affect her and her continued development. I know everyone at some point blames their mother for something, and I am trying to surrender to the fact that that is inevitable, but even thinking about that happening in the future feels like a knife in the heart.

All those people who say it gets easier when your kids get older don't know shit.

She Lives!

2008-08-18T07:46:00.000-07:00

Well helloooo blogland! Apparently, I am still alive and kicking after over a year of non-posting. Who knew.

Things are going quite well here at the Krause House. The kids started school last week, M in 4th grade (!!) and Z in 1st. I don't know why, but for some reason having a 4th grader is making me feel OLD. We are dealing with all the start of the school year jitters, M more than Z, that child is change-averse in the extreme. This year she's also starting the "Enrichment" program at her school, and we're excited to see what new challenges and opportunities that brings. I have a meeting tomorrow to go over all the testing she did over the summer, and I have a sneaking suspicion they're going to tell me she's scary smart. Now if we can only help her be more secure, we'll be all set.

Z is already struggling with his first virus of the school year. He reported to me on Thursday that he was really nice and played with the little girl in his class who wasn't feeling good and had a sore throat. He's such a sweetie, but boy did I want to tell him to stay FAR AWAY from the sickies!! So, he was up that night with the sore throat, and has progressed to the runny nose and scary sounding cough. joy.

My hubby is still the hardest working man I know. Since my last post, he was promoted (to CEO! wow!), and has been dealing with more personnel crapola, political crapola, and general being the boss crapola than I care to remember. He's still travelling a lot, although it has slowed a little from those first months of being in charge. As a matter of fact, he's off to sunny Southern California for the week this week, and then will be going to Germany for 10 days in Sept. It's still hard being away from family, especially when he's travelling, but it has forced us to become a real team, and has brought us closer in so many ways.

We had a very nice summer vacation. I think we found a nice balance between activity, travel, and general lazy summer days. The kids did summer camps at the beginning of June, M at the hands on science museum 'Explora', and Z at the zoo. They both did awesome and had tons of fun. After that, 2 weeks of swimming lessons, then a trip to Cedar City for 4th of July, back to Albuquerque for another 2 weeks of swimming, then Yosemite for about a week. I may post another time in more detail about the Yosemite trip, suffice to say for now, that for such small critters, mice suck BIG TIME.

I am still doing the yoga thing. Not teaching regularly, or taking classes as often as I'd like, honestly, but it continues to inform the way I live in my body every day. I'm excited to get back to class more often now that school is back in session. I went to a class last week that is a little tougher than I usually try, and it kicked my ass. hard. A wake up call to be sure.

I am also still doing the Friends of the Library thing at the kids school. I've been doing 2 book fairs per school year since we got into the new school, and have raised a pretty significant amount of money. We dealt with some overcrowding issues last year (apparently Everybody wanted to come to the pretty new school), so there was actually a 5th grade classroom in the library which was a bit of a challenge. This year they are working on completing an addition of I think 5 new classrooms, and for now all the 5th grade classes are meeting in the gym. Which sucks for them, but I don't have a 5th grader, and we have the library back, so I am not complaining.

Now that I have figured out how to get back onto Blogger, I am hoping to be more of a presence here again, it was fun, and I could use a little more connectivity to the world outside my house and the school. If I can pry myself away from playing Scramble on Facebook for that long. :D

Return to Blogland

2007-03-09T08:24:00.001-08:00

OK, well, here we are.

I wasn't sure if I remembered how to do this.

Not sure if I should try to recap the last 4 months, or just move on from here.

Let's start with current status. Today I'm home with a sicky. Zach has a cold, and is cranky enough that he wanted to stay home and miss PJ day and the Teddy Bear picnic they had planned for today. Bummer. He feels hot to me, but the thermometer says normal. I don't think I trust it. I had the flu last weekend, so we're catching up on all the sick we missed this winter now that it's spring. Oh, and can I say, thank GOD spring is here! Like my sis, I tend to run better solar powered. I'm all inspired to do spring cleaning and get stuck back into the backyard project.

Kids are doing well. Last week we had parent teacher conference for Madeline and she got a stellar report from her teacher, as usual. She's getting better about doing homework, which was bordering on torturous there for awhile, and is riding the bus and walking to the bus stop independently. As much as I am afraid of her being on the bus, it really is nice to send her off from the front door with a kiss in the morning, and greet her there again in the afternoon. I'm not missing the fiasco that was the elementary school parking lot for drop off and pick up.

I just got her signed up for nature camp this summer. It looks like we've about got the summer planned already. Yep, in March. I was on the ball this year and got both of them into the program at the BioPark. That, plus a couple weeks of swimming lessons, preschool summer school for Z, and a trip to Yosemite should keep us pretty busy. I'm getting nervous about Zach starting kindergarten already. He's a little dude, and will be on the young side in his class (his bday is in April), and I have considered waiting, but I just don't know. I don't want him to struggle, but I also don't want him to be bored for another year in preschool, and honestly, don't really want him and his sis to be too terribly far apart in school. I think we're going to see how summer school goes, and make a final decision after that.

I have to go over to the school today and turn in all the various registration forms for both of them for next year. Good grief, how many times do I have to write out our address and phone number already!? Not to mention emergency contact numbers. You'd think this process could be streamlined, do your really need FIVE handwritten forms saying the exact same thing? (Five forms PER child) OK, done ranting, I just hate that shit.

Speaking of the school, we're officially all moved in to the new school building. It's beautiful. How neat to be in the first class in a brand new facility. The playground equipment went in a couple weeks ago, and they're still getting the kinks out of everything, but it's so nice to not be so crowded, and to be closer to our house again. I'm trying to be a good volunteer mom, and have committed to run the Book Fairs for the Friends of the Library group. I'm glad I found that group to be a part of. We like to call ourselves the slacker PTA. Perfect for me. It's just a few moms and the librarian, but we've raised enough money for some nice furniture for the 'story pit' and some fun stuff for birthdays and reading incentives. Book Fair is coming in about 5 weeks, and so far I've attended the training workshop and have everything scheduled with Scholastic. I'm excited to move forward with promoting and planning the details.

Yoga teacher training is over. At least the official, scheduled classes. I still have a few homework assignments to finish up, and need to turn in all my hours and such, but it's really nice to get back on a schedule that revolves a little more around the needs of my family, and a little less around the demands of that kind of schedule. Those last few months were brutal. Clark was insanely on the road (and continues to be, but that's another story), and I was running as fast as I could to just not fall further behind. It did take me a few extra weeks to finish up my quota of classes after the official end date in December, and man was that hard to accept. I am SUCH a perfectionist that the idea of not finishing on time, and not being able to do anything about it was excruciating. At this stage in the game, I'm assisting in a couple classes a week, a scoliosis class on Mondays and a Mom/Baby class on Fridays, and mostly focusing on enjoying being a student again. I learned SO much, and my body is doing better than ever, but it's good to be done.

OK, I guess returning to blogland wasn't so hard after all. I have been keeping up with reading about all y'all, even if I haven't been commenting much. Next time maybe pictures! Maybe!

Blogthing

2006-10-06T11:47:00.001-07:00

I cruised over to blogthings today to check out the quiz Ly posted, and this one caught my eye. So, what kind of soul are you?

p.s. don't forget to check out my new pics below if you haven't already. ;)

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Pics: yard project update and happy haircut day

2006-10-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

The kids on one of their favorite features, the path. Don't worry, Madeline has had her bangs trimmed since this picture, she can see where she's going now.

2006-10-03T13:20:00.000-07:00

Highly technical garden hose design technique.

2006-10-03T13:19:00.000-07:00

The concrete border guys, with their nifty concrete border extruding device.

2006-10-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

TA DA! Let there be lawn!

2006-10-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

I love laying sod, instant gratification.

2006-10-03T13:16:00.000-07:00

Before...

2006-10-03T13:15:00.000-07:00

...After!

A quickie

2006-08-24T12:16:00.000-07:00

Overheard this morning from Zach, while eating his breakfast:

"My spoon of power will DEFEAT you, cereal!"

Big news of the day:

Madeline broke her arm yesterday. Talk about drama. It's just a little break, but she'll be in a cast for 4 weeks, and it's her right arm, so apparently she can't do ANYTHING. I'm hoping she'll adjust and become more ambidextrous soon.

My neck is cranky from too much Down Dog last night at yoga, so I'm gonna go ice.

Ta ta for now.

Broke pools suck ass

2006-08-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

The pool is officially GONE! GONE GONE GONE!!! Thank god.

When last I posted, we were getting ready to start cutting the concrete. Since then we cut, pried, smashed, and generally busted up all the concrete; moved most of that concrete to create a nice little faux flagstone type patio; dug up all the dirt around what was left of the pool; and destroyed Vic's reciprocal saw cutting out enough of the walls of the pool for it to effectively vanish underneath whatever I end up putting in back there. It was SO much work! I feel like I owe Vic my firstborn child or something for the amount of heavy labor he's put in in my yard over the last 3 weeks. Personally, I've NEVER worked that hard or for nearly that long on something that physical. I've been exhausted beyond belief at night, and sleeping like a rock. The kids have been really good at kicking it in the house while mommy is out doing loud and dangerous (the sides of the pool were metal, which had to be cut, which left sharp scary edges which I only gouged myself on once) things in the backyard, but I think they're relieved that at least the noisy part is done. There's still a lot to do back there, but at this point, we're headed in the direction of putting things back together, instead of ripping them apart.

I was all ready to document the whole process, but ended up having battery issues with my digital camera, and missed a big chunk of the process in the middle. Here's what I have.

BEFORE: Well, mostly before, we had all the landscaping rock dug out in this pic, but you get the idea.

Vic with the concrete saw, SUCH a stud!

All busted up

Prying the concrete out. We actually ended up bending that huge pry-bar on a particularly massive bit of concrete.

And... DONE! With the concrete busting anyways.

THIS is what we did with all that busted concrete. Recycling! This is where we have a gap in the documentation, so you don't get to see how we did it, but those pieces were HEAVY, and it wasn't easy to get them all so level. Again, Vic is THE MAN.

Cutting out the sides of the pool. (I dug out all that dirt my own self. Aren't you impressed?)

TA DA!! No more pool! WOO HOO!!!

Obviously, there is SO much more left to do, but I think we are over the biggest hurdle. I'm pretty sure everyone thinks I'm crazy for even attempting it, but trust me, working around it was not an option. Next steps include staining the concrete so that it looks more like stone, buying some crushed granite or something to fill in the cracks around the concrete slabs, deciding exactly where the lawn is going to be and digging the dirt down to the right size and level for said lawn, calling in the guys who do concrete borders for around the lawn, calling in the other guys to put in the sprinkler system, and then laying the sod. I'd like to get all this done on my current budget. If there's anything left over, we may get in a tree or two. The rest of the plants will have to wait until we can afford them, and a drip irrigation system to keep them alive. Future plans include a possible sandbox, and cover of some kind for the patio, cause you really can't have enough shade in Albuquerque. And that, my dears, concludes your tour of the Krause House backyard. Hope you enjoyed it.

Summer recap (aka I'm Still Here!)

2006-07-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

I don't really have anything special to say, but I was starting to get embarrassed by how long it's been since I posted anything. Summer recap maybe? OK, that'll work.

We've been very busy and will continue to be very busy right up until Madeline goes back to school on the NINTH of August. (That's right, the 9th. Has anyone ever heard of a school district starting that early? yeah, me neither) We had a lazy first couple weeks of June, knowing that it was going to be the only real stretch of inactivity the entire summer. I started the second session of teacher training on the 10th, just in time for Clark to head to Idaho for a job interview. It was stressful starting out on a 6 month commitment without knowing if we were actually going to be here for it. Clark assured me that we'd figure out a way to work it out, if it became an issue (i.e. if he got the job), but that probably would have entailed me staying in Albuquerque by myself with the kids for a couple months, which really didn't sound appealing. He didn't get the job though, which really bummed him out, but I got to heave a sigh of relief.

Since I brought up the job situation, it's kindof sucking again. The Evil Boss has officially left the building (thank god), which leaves Clark as the interim president, which, although it sounds fancy and cool, really isn't. He's having to make decisions as the president, without knowing if he's going to continue in that position, or be bumped back to vice president. Not to mention managing an office full of people who are acting like post traumatic stress victims. Everyone is paranoid, and no one knows what's going to happen next. He's turned in a resume for the job, but is worried that Former Evil Boss has left such a stain on the organization that the board of directors is going to be wary of promoting from within. Oh, yeah, and he's trying to continue doing his job, while also filling in the blanks left by EB leaving, which is basically two upper level managerial positions being filled by one person. The true irony of the situation is that I'm finally feeling really happy being in Albuquerque, and he's ready to leave if he doesn't get the promotion. big sigh. So, everyone cross your fingers that he gets the job, cause I'm really not ready to move again right now.

On to happier subjects. The kids. They're both doing pretty great. Their first big activity of the summer was swimming lessons. I enrolled both of them in group lessons at Clark's gym. Thirty minutes a day, 5 days a week, for 2 weeks. I was pretty optimistic that Madeline would go for it, since she's been getting more adventurous in the water, and in general has been having a better attitude about new activities (anyone remember the ballet debacle from last summer?). I was really worried about Zach though. Especially since he hasn't really participated in any kind of group activity yet, and tends to stress about new things, and when those new things might require getting his face wet, watch out. The boy surprised me. He went right to his teacher, got right in the water, and didn't fuss once. My plan of attack was drop them off the first day and leave, so that no one would be putting on a show for me. I told them what I was going to do, and that I would be back when they were done, then I left, walked up to the front of the gym to buy cookies and water from the vending machine, and came back and watched from behind a tree so they wouldn't see me. So sneaky. I think it really helped though, and it ended up being a good experience for everyone.

The weekend between the two weeks of swimming lessons, I went to Cedar for Paul and Jen's wedding. Missuz J already covered a bunch of that, so I won't bore anyone by repeating, but I had SUCH a great time. It was exactly the break I needed. I gotta say, I really like traveling by myself. I can read, listen to whatever I want in the car, at whatever volume I want, and eat hot food in restaurants instead of having to cut pancakes or pour ketchup first. I enjoyed helping with all the flowers, even though it did cut into my socializing time a little. But, hey, I was there for the wedding, and I got to be a part of it, which was touching and sweet. LOTS of love went into those flower arrangements, LOTS.

Unfortunately, I missed a ton of yoga stuff being gone that weekend. Originally, I had thought I'd miss one Saturday afternoon session (4 hours, which I could make up in about an hour privately with the teacher). It turned out that I missed 2 weekly classes, the Saturday session, a 6 hour special workshop on Sunday, and a study group session. Yikes. So, when Clark got a wild hair and decided to bail out of town back to Cedar for the 4th of July weekend with the kids, I got to stay home and make up yoga classes. It was trippy to have the whole house to myself for, I think it was 5 days. I haven't done that in, literally, years. Before I had Madeline. The silence, the sleeping in, the cleaning staying cleaned for more than 2 minutes... heaven. I missed my sweeties horribly though, and was happy to have them back when they came home.

This week Madeline had nature camp. They do some great camps, both at the zoo, and at the aquarium/botanical gardens. We were too late for the zoo camps, since apparently they fill up in March, and while I was on the ball this year, I wasn't THAT on the ball, but she's loving it, so that's all that counts. I put her in the morning session, even though it meant we had to be up and ready and out the door by 8am, since I wasn't heartless enough to saddle her with being out in the desert heat in the afternoons. The morning thing totally worked out though, because this week we started a big project at the house... dum da da! The back yard!

Our backyard sucks. When we bought the house, there was an old, broken, nasty pool in the backyard, bordered by concrete and grey landscaping rock, and that was it. Nothing green, nothing growing. Considering the other options we were looking at for housing though, it really was the best choice. The former owners were nice enough to fill in the pool with dirt (mostly to avoid dealing with a pool inspection I think), but concrete pool border filled with dirt was preferable to giant hole, so we rolled with it. Now, the time has come to deconstruct what's going on back there and hopefully create something better. My dear friend Vic (old buddy from college who happens to live in Albuquerque now, have I mentioned Vic before?) is doing most of the grunt work. He and I spent two days this week shoveling landscaping rocks into big piles in the front and side yards. Tomorrow we rent the concrete cutting saw, and start wreaking havoc. And, back to the early morning thing I mentioned in the previous paragraph, in Albuquerque, in July, you want to get as much work in as early as possible, since we're hitting the 80's by 10am, and the 90's by noon. So, getting up early, while I hate it, has been a necessary thing this week.

Oh yeah, I'm also painting the master bathroom this week. I bought paint and got started while the kidlets were in Utah, but it's taking me much longer than I thought, so I've been shovelling rocks in the morning, and painting in the afternoon. Good Times. I must be in better shape than I thought though, cause I haven't been horribly sore. I mean, I can feel that I'm working different muscles than I'm used to, and can feel them fatigue, but I seriously thought after the first day of shoveling that I wouldn't be able to get up the next day, and tada! I'm up. I'm hoping to get it done this afternoon. I really need to get new batteries for the digital, so I can post some pictures of my projects.

The rest of the summer should look something like this: Clark's gone to Europe for work until the 23rd, left at 5am this morning, poor baby; Mom and Beck and Soph will be here the 19th for a week, staying with us, and helping celebrate Madeline's birthday on the 21st; a few days to recuperate, then off to Yosemite to stay with Grandma Pat (Clark's mom) and play in the river before it's back to school time. I'm going to be so behind on yoga by the time school starts it'll take me a month to catch up. Definitely lost some momentum in that department, but I'm not too worried. I think that when Zach starts preschool in September, I should be able to pack in at least 4 classes a week, that'll catch me up fast.

I'll try to stop slacking quite so much, this was fun. I've been going back and forth about why I'm blogging, and who my audience is (am I doing it for myself? or for other people to read? I'm not so sure), but I think either way, and even if I don't know the answer to that question, it's still a good thing. Namaste.

Social Butterflies

2006-05-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! How were your long weekends? Ours was pretty nice. We were, indeed, social butterflies. Saturday was generally uneventful. I made cookies, cleaned house, and cooked dinner at home on my first non-yoga Saturday of my short break. The cookies came out YUMMY. They were Oatmeal Banana Chocolate Chip, and if anyone's interested I will post the recipe, as it is officially my new 'use up the brown bananas' favorite.

Sunday, we were invited by a sweet gal in my yoga study group to her house in Santa Fe for Indian food. She invited the whole study group plus significant others and (my) kids. Her husband is originally from India, and they are devout vegetarians, so the food was not something I was familiar with at all, but everyone else there was raving about it, so I assume that for vegetarian Indian food, it was excellent. They have a darling little house outside of Santa Fe in an old rural area (one of the oldest land grants in the country, according to Allena, not that I really know what that means), and it was a lovely long afternoon of getting to actually socialize with the people I'd been studying with for 4 months. I'm going to miss seeing those guys on a regular basis, and there are definitely a couple of them that I am determined to continue to see socially.

Sunday, we were invited by a friend of Clark's from his AA group to a pool party/bbq at his house. Normally I'm a little wary of AA friends, since we sometimes don't exactly speak the same language, but I had such a nice time, those worries were totally unwarranted. Clark's friend and I sat and chatted at length while Clark played in the pool with the kiddies. He seems like a great guy, and I'm really looking forward to getting to know him better. The food was FABULOUS (and familiar this time, teriyaki salmon, hot dogs, potato salad, etc., super yum), the weather was perfect, and I had actual conversations with people I didn't know at all. Those who know me will know that this is not always easy for me.

Two parties in one weekend, one might think we're starting to find friends in Albuquerque. Will wonders never cease.

The Yoga Post (and stuff)

2006-05-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

I'm almost done with the first session of my yoga teacher training course. I was initially only going to do this session, and then stop, but I have since decided to continue on for another SIX months to complete both sessions and the whole 500 hour super cool certification. I haven't decided yet if this is stupid or brave.

I've been having such a great time. The people in my class are all so cool, with just enough eccentricity and ego thrown in for color and texture, and to rile things up once in awhile. My study group KICKS ASS. And the teachers. Wow. I could seriously gush about my teachers. People have moved to Albuquerque for the sole purpose of working with these teachers. I think I'm currently in the best shape I've ever been both physically and emotionally, and I attribute a lot of that to them.

It's so great to feel like a part of a community. To have a place to go where people know who you are. I never realized how important that was to me until I didn't have it for awhile.

Some things I have learned:

When you can live in your body with your femurs grounded, the world seems to exist mostly for your own amusement.

Stability is absolutely as important as flexibility.

A flat belly just ISN'T a happy belly.

Intensity x Duration = Force

I'm still not ready for headstand, but I'm getting much more comfortable in handstand, which used to scare it right out of me.

3 hours of backbends is a few too many backbends.

Trianga Mukhaikapada Paschimottanasana means Three Limb Face to One Foot West Side Stretched Out Pose.

In Other News:

My vacation pictures came out!! WOO HOO! I sent in one roll just to check and see if they maybe weren't entirely ruined, and they came back ok, so I sent the other roll, and they weren't ruined either. A few shots are a little grainy, but I'll take it! One of these days I'll figure out how to post pictures again and throw a few of them up here.

One more week left of school for Madeline. I have a couple summer activities lined up for the kidlets. Both of them are doing swimming lessons for a couple weeks in June, and Madeline has nature camp in July for a week. I finally found a preschool for Zach in the fall, and I'm thinking about picking up a few days at least of their summer session just so he can start getting used to it before September. I'm a little concerned about swimming lessons, as they were a bit of a fiasco with Madeline last summer, but I'm trying to remain optimistic. My current plan is to drop them off the first day and leave. Hopefully that will cut out some of the whining and putting on drama for mama.

On the professional front, Clark's boss has officially resigned (THANK GOD), so it looks like things should be getting better for him at work. As far as workload and stress go, it may get a little worse before it gets better, at least until the soon to be ex boss officially leaves the building. I guess I could dish on the dirt about him now, but I think I'll refrain. Honestly, I'm so relieved that he's leaving, I don't even want to think about him any more.

Other than that, we're pretty much cruising through here at the Krause House. I'm looking forward to a couple weeks off between yoga training sessions. Maybe I'll even catch up and do some more of this blogging thing. Oh yeah, I got my hair cut. (I know, BIG news) I decided to go for the bangs. I'm getting it colored today. I'm thinking of going darker. Wish me luck.

Out of the mouths of babes

2006-04-25T14:44:00.000-07:00

Said to me by Zach as we were sitting on the couch watching "The Emperor's New School" on Disney Channel wherein the "love interest" gets all miffed at Cuzco for being an egomaniac:

"Mom, when's the hottie gonna start being nice?"

.....Speechless......

Can we catch a break here? please?

2006-04-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

We've had sick kids here at the Krause House since we got back from our lovely vacation. Colds first, then Madeline ended up with hers turning into a sinus infection, and now Zach has hand foot and mouth disease which is making him (and by extention, me) totally miserable. As bad as I feel for him, I am SO tired of lurking around the house trying to get kids to drink more fluids and rest. I was all ready to head out yesterday and today and do all those errands I've been putting off, and now I have to put them off for another week, since apparently Zach is "extremely" contagious. Joy.

On the yoga front, I think I've officially decided to continue my teacher training and complete the whole 500 hour certification this year. My studio offers a 200 hour, which is what I'm doing right now, and the whole shebang 500 hour, which obviously entails tacking another 300 hours onto the first 200. I had originally thought it would take some serious arm twisting to get Clark to go for just the 200, which it did, initially. It would seem that my enjoyment of the process thus far has been so apparent to him, that he actually suggested I continue and do the rest of the training now, rather than wait a year, which was my original plan. I'm both excited and apprehensive. I HAVE been enjoying myself immensely so far, but commiting to another 6 months of 4 hour Saturday afternoon sessions seems like a lot. The time commitment will stay the same, the Saturday sessions, plus 2 classes a week, and one study group a week, but hopefully once school starts and I get Zach into preschool (a whole other story), I can start doing the classes during the day, which would free up my evenings, which would be nice.

Since I brought it up, I guess I'll mention briefly the preschool search. Ugh. I've been looking and looking, and so far everything falls into one of 4 categories: extremely Christian, day care, Montessori and WAY too expensive, or all the way across town. Unless I can find something up here that is less religious, I may end up hauling him all the way down to the one recommended to us by Clark's work friend, which seems very nice, but I'm not too sure how I'll be able to get Madeline and Zach both to school at 9am on opposite sides of town. Haven't quite mastered the 'being two places at once' trick. Wish me luck, cause the boy needs to interact with someone other than me, bad.

Clark's work situation continues to be a challenge, I wish I could divulge more of the dirty details, but until things shake out, I really shouldn't. Change is in the air though, and fingers are crossed that it will be good change.

I finally plugged the digital camera into the computer, and lo and behold, it appears to be exceedingly easy to at least view the pictures that are in there. I was afraid I wouldn't have the right software, etc etc, but I am encouraged, and maybe, if I can get Zach to nap while I'm stranded in the house with him for a week, I'll get some pics up here. Yeah, don't hold your breath on that one.

Vacation '06: The good the bad and the ugly

2006-04-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

We just got back from the big Spring Break Vacation in California. Clark had some business thing in San Diego in the beginning of the week last week, and had expressed his interest in us coming out with him quite some time ago, and after we realized that the trip lined up perfectly with Madeline's spring break, we decided to extend it a bit and make it a real live vacation. Here's your recap.

Monday afternoon the kids and I flew out to San Diego (Clark had flown out the day before to get some of that business stuff done). The flight was a piece of cake. Clark (bless his heart) had taken the carseats and some of the heavier stuff with him, so I didn't even have to haul ridiculous amounts of luggage into the airport with 2 kids in tow. It was a nonstop flight, just under 2 hours, and the kids were great for the whole thing. We got to the hotel, which was GORGEOUS, with no problems. If you ever get the chance, I highly reccomend the Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego. It was a treat. Even though it was too chilly to get in the pool, and I didn't set foot on the beach, which was literally right next to the hotel, it was great to fall asleep listening to the waves.

Tuesday the kids and I went to the San Diego Zoo after walking all over Coronado island looking for breakfast. I was in the mood for REAL breakfast, like with protein, not just a muffin or some crap like that, so we walked clear down to where the concierge suggested, only to find it closed, then walked clear back and settled for the bagel place directly across the street from the hotel. Whatever. The zoo was awesome, and the kids were decent. Or, to be more precise, Madeline was a dream, and Zach was slightly less whiney than he's been on an almost constant basis lately. I used to live in San Diego when I was in kindergarten and part of 1st grade, and I got a little choked up walking into the zoo, and remembering being there as a little kid. It was great to be able to share that with my kids.

Wednesday, we headed up the coast to Anaheim and Disneyland. Since we hadn't been sure when we'd get up there on Wednesday, the original plan had been to just do one day in Disneyland on Thursday. We lucked out though, and got on the road at a decent time, then the Disneyland Hotel had our room ready at noon (four hours earlier than official check in time), so we decided to charge over to the park Wednesday. I think I was more excited than the kids. We did "Small World" first, barely had to stand in line at all, and the kids loved it. I was a little less impressed with the "Toontown" area, which was new since I'd been there. After riding the train over to the new Winnie the Pooh attraction, and then walking back to Main Street for dinner, Zach was done with Disneyland for the day, so he and Clark went back to the hotel, and Madeline and I stayed out for the parade, a few more rides, and the fireworks. Between the parade and the fireworks we spent probably two hours sitting on our asses on concrete, which wasn't exactly comfy, but it was worth it. Madeline and I rarely get to spend time like that together, just the two of us, and to get to hold her on my lap and listen to her ooh and aah over watching Tinkerbell fly over Cinderella's castle was priceless. All in all a good luck day, especially considering that Clark ran into one of his best friends in line at the front desk of the hotel. He was at a conference there and was checking out when we were checking in, and neither of them had any idea the other would be there. We didn't get any time to hang with him, but it was wild running into him like that.

Thursday our luck started to change. Madeine and Clark got up and headed over to the park first thing, and Zach and I packed up the room. We had only managed to get one night at Disneyland hotel, which was a little bit of a bummer, but we were rolling with it. Right as we were getting ready to hunt down breakfast, my phone rang. It was Clark. Apparently his boss thought it would be a good idea to schedule a Very Important Meeting right in the middle of our vacation. Don't ask me why (I have my theories). So, Clark is IN Disneyland WITH his little girl, making calls on his Blackberry to try and rearrange our hotel and flights so that he can go to this meeting. Then, the Blackberry dies. So, he has to LEAVE Disneyland WITH Madeline to hunt down his charger (which was in the car in the hotel parking lot), go back to the room (where he just missed Zach and I), and reschedule the rest of our trip around his boss's whim. Turns out that while it was a Very Important Meeting, it was not, in fact, a Very Urgent Meeting, and it totally could have waited for next week sometime.

We spent the rest of the day in Disneyland, after making a pact not to speak of the boss or the meeting so that the kids could enjoy the rest of their Disney experience. They had fun, we kept our seething anger to ourselves, and late afternoon, early eveningish, we headed back down the coast a ways to Laguna Beach. We stayed at Laguna Beach on our way to Clark's dad's memorial service about a year and a half ago, and had a really nice experience, so we thought it would be cool to spend the night there on our way back to San Diego to fly home. Unfortunately, we couldn't get booked into the hotel we had stayed at that time, so we tried a different one. Big mistake. It was bad, real bad. They had us (a family of four) booked into a teensy tiny room with a king and the worst, most uncomfortable pull out couch I've ever encountered. Not to mention it was on the half basement level, sandwiched snugly between the parking garage and the Pacific Coast Highway (the highway was literally like 20 feet from the back windows of the room, wheels screaming by at eye level). Add to this the fact that it was dirty, and dingy, and there was nasty hair in the shower, and we got to listen to our next door neighbors doing it (loudly) while trying to get to sleep. Lovely. Unfortunately they were booked full, so a different room was not an option. We did, however, get into the lovely Inn at Laguna Beach for the next night. (Since we had to stay an extra night for the meeting) Anybody keeping track here? That's 4 hotels in 5 nights.

Clark had to get up early to go to the Very Important Meeting, leaving me with the kids, and no car, to pack up and get to the other hotel (which was made even more enjoyable by the fact that I got my period that morning and had raging cramps). After walking (FOREVER) to get breakfast, we checked out of the nasty hotel and gathered our things to head over to the nice hotel, hoping we could possibly get an early check in, since we had no where to go while waiting for Clark to get back. We were planning to take a cab over to the other side of town, but apparently, there were NO CABS available in Laguna Beach at that particular moment, and wouldn't be for about an hour. The lovely woman at the front desk (yeah, that's sarcasm) suggested we take the bus, and probably had no idea how close she was to getting kicked in the teeth by the hormonal, angry woman with no car, lots of luggage, and 2 kids in tow. The manager of the hotel ended up driving us in his car to the other hotel, which was nice of him, I guess. He had the nerve to ask me why we were leaving his hotel, and I told him in the most polite way I could manage, little ears being present and all, that the room they saddled us with was completely unacceptable, and gross, and we were OUTA THERE!

While we didn't get an early check in, it was heavenly to be in the nice hotel where people were accomodating and things were clean. They checked our bags, took my cell phone number and said they'd call as soon as the room was ready. So, we were stranded. Granted, there are worse places to be stranded than Laguna Beach, but I was so tired and cranky I would have sold my body (or part of it anyways) for a place to lie down and some cartoons to keep the kids occupied for a bit. We ended up walking down the beach to the playground where the kids blew off some steam, then lunch, and a quick phone call to Stine who was gracious enough to listen to my ranting, which really did make me feel better, a little ice cream, and as if on cue, the front desk called right after the ice cream bowls hit the trash can.

The rest of the trip back was up and down. Turned out we didn't have a nonstop flight back to Albuquerque the next day, so I ended up being late to my yoga class which was the icing on the anger cake as far as the boss and the meeting and what have you, since that was the ONE thing I had asked to be accomodated on schedule-wise. There were toilet issues in the hotel requiring a maintenance guy with a plunger trying not to wake the sleeping children. I didn't notice the sign at the airport saying that any undeveloped film or film still in the camera would be destroyed if left in checked bags until AFTER checking the bag with the camera containing the Disneyland family pictures. (That one almost made me cry, right there in the middle of the airport) BUT, the flight was a piece of cake as far as the kids went, and we got home safely and without too much grief.

WHEW.

Overall we all had a great time, and I'm really glad we did it. All travel has some travail involved, and ours was mostly manageable. Gone long enough to be glad to be home. Isn't that why we need to go away sometimes, really? To appreciate what we've got? After the 3 hours of yoga I did directly after getting off the plane, and taking the kids to their weekly apres-yoga pizza outing, I sure was glad to see my house and my bed again. I also definitely know how lucky we are to be able to just go like that when the opportunity arises, even though the credit card will be feeling the damage for a long time still.

I am planning to post about my yoga happenings, hopefully sooner rather than later, many exciting things going on with that, but it does take up some time.

Krause Kids ROCK

2006-03-13T08:12:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I've been so blog averse lately. But, today I'm inspired to write, so here goes.

Things have been plodding along here at the Krause House. We've been busy busy bees lately between my yoga teacher training hours and Clark's travel for work. He and I haven't seen much of each other the last couple weeks. Don't get me started about his job. Really. I need to not get started on that one.

The kids are doing pretty great. I had a parent teacher conference for Madeline a couple weeks ago, and she's doing fan-freaking-tastic in school. The teacher actually said to me, 'you guys are doing such a great job with her.' What more can a parent ask for. Her teacher also recommended that we test her for the gifted program at the end of the year next year. We're SO proud. She's reading on at least a 3rd grade level, breezing through math and spelling, and getting along well with her classmates. She had a difficult transition when we moved last year, as some of you will recall, so it's a huge relief to see her not only thriving but excelling at school.

Other news on the school front, Madeline is going to be moving to a new school next year. They're changing school boundaries and building a new school. Unfortunately, the new school isn't going to be done being built until October or some such, so they have the brilliant plan of putting all the classes for the new school in with another school on the same campus so that the actual classes can be established at the beginning of the year and then move into the new school when it's complete. This other school is the one where most of the kids that will be attending the new school go. I think, overall, it will be a good move for her. The school she's in is fine, but it's sort of in the not so great neighborhood in our area, and that can be an issue sometimes. It's also really close to the freeway, so I have concerns about security. However, I am concerned about yet another change for her, especially when she's doing so well. If I let myself, I can get downright frantic about it. It can be SO HARD to feel like you're making the best decisions for your kids sometimes. I want her to have the best opportunities, but change is always stressful. Anyways, fingers are crossed that it's the right thing.

Zach is still his darling self, most of the time. He's taken to throwing little tantrums whenever he feels he's not getting his way, or if someone doesn't give him what he wants fast enough. It's annoying, but doesn't really last very long. He had an ear infection last weekend, which he seems to be pretty much over. We had some portraits done of him last month that we got back from the photographer this week. We spent a lot more than I had hoped, but they came out SO CUTE! I wish I could have bought more to send to all my peeps, but we already maxed out the budget and then some, so we'll just be happy with what we got. I still haven't found a preschool for him, and I seriously need to get back on the hunt. The few I looked at were either too far away, more of a day care type thing (all day, 5 days a week, which he's really not ready for), or religious based, and since it wasn't paganism, we decided to pass on those. Anybody know of a good pagan preschool? I thought not. :)

I was going to write about my yoga stuff on this post, but I've decided to save it for another day, maybe tomorrow. Brief overview: it's kicking my ass and I'm loving it. AND, I'm hanging out with grownups who actually seem to like talking to me. DOUBLE BONUS! I'm not sure how much anyone is interested in yoga stuff, maybe that's why I've been hesitating in posting much about it. I'm learning SO much, and am very pleased to be part of this yoga community. OK, more on that later.

Happy early birthday to Katy!! Love you darling!!!

Mother would be so proud

2006-03-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.

Paganism

79%

Buddhism

75%

Satanism

58%

Hinduism

54%

agnosticism

54%

atheism

46%

Islam

46%

Christianity

33%

Judaism

29%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Brought to you by the number 4

2006-02-21T13:09:00.000-08:00

Oookey Dokey. Since Stine tagged me, I guess I better.

Four jobs I've had.
1. Photographer at the KMart photo shop
2. Executive Assistant at Brian Head Resort
3. Production Assistant at a small software company
4. Mc Donald's (I specialized in front counter and drive thru)

Four movies I can watch over and over.
1. Lord of the Rings (any and all)
2. Kiki's Delivery Service
3. Somewhere in Time (thanks mom)
4. Nightmare Before Christmas

Four places I've lived.
1. Christchurch, New Zealand
2. Coon Rapids, Minnesota
3. Monterey, California
4. Cedar City, Utah

Four TV shows I love.
1. Miami Ink
2. What Not to Wear
3. NYPD Blue
4. starting to get into Grey's Anatomy

Four places I've vacationed.
1. Acapulco, Mexico
2. Miami, Florida
3. San Francisco, California
4. Phoenix, Arizona

Four of my favorite dishes.
1. Eggs Benedict
2. Cheese Ravioli
3. Pizza at Giovanni's
4. Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream

Four sites I visit daily.
1. Missuz J
2. Purplestine
3. Katydidz
4. Lyamhound

Four places I would rather be right now.
1. Stine's House
2. Boo's House
3. boneyard
4. Point Lobos

There ya go. Me in a nutshell.

Ok, ok, I guess I'll post

2006-02-01T15:59:00.000-08:00

Even though I have nothing to say.

It's been a fairly dull week around here. I've been sick, Zach got a new 'big boy' bed, and, um, Clark's out of town for a few days. I was talking to Stine just yesterday (I think it was yesterday, the days just seem to be running together lately) about how we were both uninspired to post about the mundane daily lives we've been living lately, but here I am, doing just that.

The only thing of any interest going on is that, in spite of being sick, I've been doing shitloads of yoga. I did 4 hours Saturday, 3 hours Monday and an hour (at home!) yesterday. Yeah, shitloads. I think I've crossed over into a place where doing MORE yoga is easier than doing LESS. I felt better after my second class in a row Monday than I'd felt in days. Suprising, but pleasantly so. My knee, however, is not thrilled. It's not swelling, or doing anything overt that would suggest injury, but it is consistently cranky. I'm starting to suspect an old injury in there, and am wondering if this is just something I'm going to have to live with, or if there is anything I can do to improve it. Getting old sucks ass.

You know, I thought with the new year, and starting this yoga teacher training thingy, that I was heading out of the hermit phase I've been in for the last year, but it seems to be not happening as much as I'd hoped. Maybe it's just the being sick thing, but (aside from actually being in the yoga studio) I mostly want to be left alone. I'm still enjoying reading about what everyone is doing, but not inspired to comment, and if you're my friend, and you DON'T have a blog, well, I have no idea what's going on with those people, and even though I DO care, I apparently don't care enough to reach out and connect with anyone.

I'm struggling with inertia I think. I can't seem to get up the momentum to do much of anything, and I don't even have the usual culprit to blame for it. My amotivational syndrome is all me right now. It's frustrating, because I would really like to do more. I'd like for my house to not be such a cluttered mess, and I'd like to get out more with my kids, and cook more, and keep in touch with my peeps, but the days just seem to slip by, and none of those things have happened. Ok, time to stop complaining about it. That's not going to help. I don't know what IS going to help, but that's not it.

Gee, aren't you glad I posted all that crap?

I'm BAAA-ACK!

2006-01-22T15:34:00.000-08:00

Thank god. FINALLY. The desk is finally done, the chair is finally bought (and assembled), and the new computer is here, set up, wireless enabled, and working. Whoda thunk it? Not I. I was seriously starting to think it was just not meant to be. It's been literally a year since I was able to work on a computer without having to sit on the floor to do it, and I gotta say, lumbar support KICKS ASS.

I'm trying to think of all the great things that have been going on since I've been offline, and honestly, nothing is coming to me. Ummm, Zach's new favorite word is 'creepy', pretty much everything and everyone has been referred to as creepy in the last week. Madeline is still doing great at school, but has got into the bad habit of 'talking back', and has had her butt spanked because of it. I VERY rarely spank, but sometimes enough is enough.

Oh yeah, I started teacher training at my yoga studio last week. So far it's been really great. I'm getting to know other yoga peeps, and learning shit too, how awesome is that? I need to get on the ball as far as doing my own practice at home, but that's been my issue with yoga for over a decade, so that's nothing new.

The birthday was good. Clark was supposed to be at some fancy shmancy work dinner in Santa Fe on my actual birthday, so we celebrated a little early with a date night on Friday the 13th. Chinese food and shoe shopping. Rad. Then, of course, the kids wanted to take me out to celebrate as a family, so we went to Chilis on the 16th. Then, it ended up that Clark didn't have to go to Santa Fe, so we went out to dinner AGAIN on my actual birthday, Italian food at Trombino's. YUM. Three meals out for the price of one birthday doesn't suck.

I've been catching up on reading all the stuff I missed while I was away, so now I've run out of free time for the afternoon. I need to go grocery shopping and figure out what's for dinner. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm back, and thanks for all the sweet birthday wishes! Later.

The Stine Story

2006-01-12T15:47:00.000-08:00

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I sat down to write about it the other day, and my computer froze up on me (again, fuck!), so I took that as a sign that I shouldn't air dirty laundry on the internet. Suffice to say, I finally got the balls to resurrect a relationship issue that has been plaguing my marriage for, oh, going on 10 years now, and it sucks. Sucks ass. I know sometimes you have to put up with things sucking for awhile in order for them to get better, but that doesn't mean I have to enjoy it. I'm feeling better today. I got some shit off my chest, and even though I feel bad about rocking the boat, it needed rocked. We'll see how things progress from here. I'm not totally optimistic, but I do still have hope. My best girls are helping me through (thanks Stine and Beck!!). And on that note, I'm going to do a little Best Bud History Recap. I said I'd do a post about my friendship with the loverly Stine, so here goes.

Stine and I met in college. I actually met her through Lyam, as I knew him first. My freshman year I had a boyfriend who was an actor. His name was Rob, and he was a nice guy, as far as college guys go. He had a job as a receptionist of some kind in the theater department. Which meant I spent a lot of time sitting around the auditorium lobby listening to him spout off with his actor buddies. My favorite of these actor buddies was Lyam. Not only because he was the only one of said actor buddies that actually acknowledged my existence. He was sweet and smart and cute too. Eventually, Rob and Lyam entered into a creative project together. Lyam had written a great little one act play called "Tramp", and Rob was going to get it produced and direct it. As Rob's girlfriend, I got to be the stage manager. I had done some theater in high school, so this wasn't a total leap into the unknown, but that little show changed my life in ways I never could have imagined.

Stine was cast in a smallish part in the show. I enjoyed her right away. We didn't hang much during rehearsals (which seemed to stretch on FOREVER), but I could tell she was a cool chick. Not only because she and the other cool cats seemed to be involved in some kind of secret smoky meetings before and after rehearsal. She was talented, and nice, and also didn't treat me as a second class citizen for being the directors girlfriend. During the course of the show, Rob and I broke up, badly. I wasn't exactly professional about it all the time, I have to admit. Stine turned into a shoulder to cry on. I rebounded pretty quickly into the arms of my much older married boss (which is a Whole Other Story I may or may not get into someday), and learned to appreciate some of the more alternative means of mind expansion available to college kids through him. Even though he wasn't a college student, and really should have known better than to be messing around with me and introducing me to those kind of things. All of a sudden, I had something in common with the cool cats.

As you may be able to tell from the story thus far, I was in the middle of a huge period of change in my life. I was finally making a complete break from the church, and finding a new path to tread. It was confusing and frightening and difficult. I stayed in the theater department, even changing my major for a little while, and started hanging with the cool cats more often. (In no small part, I suspect, because I had a car and a job, handy things to have in a friend if you're a starving actor.) Stine and I hit it off pretty quick. She and Lyam were just starting to date, and the three of us became somewhat inseparable for awhile. My sweet sis Becky was also a part of the action, as she had been friends with Lyam from before. Becky has hinted at the tension which occurred between her and I during that time. We became jealous of each others closeness with Stine in a way we had NEVER been jealous of each other over boys. Stine, in her infinite wisdom sat us both down one afternoon and put a quick end to that, and we were all able to hang with no weirdness after that.

I remember those days with so much fondness, even though they were some of the craziest of my life. I was terribly in love with a completely inappropriate man, finding a new sexual freedom I had never even suspected existed, and opening my mind in new and exhilarating ways. Through all this, I had a new big sister to hold my hand and keep me grounded. Stine read my tarot cards, worked with me to balance my chakras, and told me I wasn't crazy more times than I can count. We ventured into substances we really shouldn't have, and decided to quit said substances together. I learned about her affinity for Basic Menthol Lite 100's, and then witnessed her quit smoking in one fell swoop one afternoon while I was having a come apart about a completely unrelated subject. We cruised the desert and the mountains in my old Ford Escort, and played naked in the streams and valleys of Southern Utah. Aaah, Good Times, our Summer of Love.

As the summer came to a close, and I was unceremoniously kicked out of my parents house for refusing to go to church any more, we talked about moving in together in the fall. I was really excited to have my best friend as a roommate. However, when Lyam came back to school, it became evident that these two were meant to be, and they decided to live together. We briefly considered getting a place for the three of us, but probably for the best, it didn't work out that way. I did get to be their next door neighbor though. We all moved into the notorious Cedar Crest apartments, me with Michael, a sweet, if somewhat annoying, gay man in the theater department, who sometimes had a hard time shutting up, them, together, in the unit next door. The Cedar Crest days were rocky and great. I know I was a bit of a pest, constantly crashing their pad, and living there as much, if not more, than at my actual apartment. I was learning a lot about independence (especially after it was finally over with the by that time ex-boss), and they were learning a lot about being a couple. It was hard for everyone at times, but I will be forever grateful for the support and comfort both Stine and Lyam gave me during that time.

The end of the school year rolled around, and it was time for everyone to move on. Stine was graduating, and they were headed up to Salt Lake City for a few months on their way to Seattle. I had met Clark by that time, and was hoping he'd ask me to move in with him after my lease was up at Cedar Crest. Which he did :). I was really sad to see Stine go. I was a military brat, and had a lot of experience with friends moving away, none of it very good. She assured me that we'd always be best buds, and by golly she was right. I'd almost say we're closer now than we were when we were next door neighbors. We call all the time, email, instant message, and now blog to keep in touch. I was the matron of honor at Lyam and Christine's wedding a short 2 months after Clark and I tied the knot. I've been to Seattle TONS of times, to enjoy my pals talents on stage, and sometimes just to hang for a few days. I named my daughter Madeline Christine.

I consider Stine to be my soul sister. She has been there for me through thick and thin, and I'd like to think I've been there for her too. She has given me many a nudge on the path I've chosen, and lights the way with her honesty and strength. She has supported me in every decision, even when she didn't entirely agree with them. Some of the best times of my life have been simply sitting around, playing cards, laughing my ass off with her. She is talented beyond belief and every time I have the honor of seeing her onstage, it changes me, always for the better. She is a true example to me of what a woman can have and be. I love you, sweetheart, thank you doesn't come close to cutting it, but I'll say thank you anyways. Thank you for EVERYTHING.